Our wants and needs are few. Let’s hope Santa is listening. We’ve been VERY, very, good.
Here’s the gift ideas mums are really hoping for this year.
- Our pre pregnancy bodies.
- But can we keep the boobs (you know how they were the day the milk came in)?
- A weekend off from parenting.
- Actually, make that a week.
- Or a holiday.
- …With our girlfriends.
- (And our shortest skirts and a free bar.)
- A manicure that won’t ever chip.
- 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep…
- ….for a year.
- Breakfast in bed every weekend.
- A house that never needs cleaning.
- Mess resistant children.
- An afternoon once a month to go shopping. (Lidl’s/Tescos doesn’t count).
- Self changing nappies.
- To never have to pick up another pair of socks/trousers from the floor after explaining where the washing basket is.
- A bottle of wine.
- Or two.
- …a case of wine is fine actually.
- Face cream that acts like polyfiller on all wrinkles.
- Abs of steel. (Yeah we can dream).
- A full body massage.
- …that lasts for at least 3 hours.
- …followed by a bubble bath.
- A secret chocolate supply that no one else can EVER locate.
- A phone call every once in a while.
- An embarrassingly large bunch of flowers that we can post on Instagram.
- Pretty much any fragrance from Jo Malone.
- A brand new wallet/purse/handbag from ‘insert brand of choice’ – filled with shopping vouchers.
- A scented candle from Diptique that we will never light (fire hazard) but like to have on the shelf because it’s posh and makes us think we could be that kind of mum.
- A family photo where everyone is actually smiling.
- Unlimited control of the remote. Yes we WILL be watching the Downton Christmas special.
- All of One Direction.
- Victoria’s Secret lingerie that permanently transforms your body into a Victoria’s Secret model. We’ll take Jourdan Dunn please.
- A house elf.
- And RuPaul.
That is all.
Photo by Jutta Klee