I’ve found that I really miss that first year of motherhood already. The rose tinted glasses are definitely on.
The days when I would just wear PJS and answer the door to flowers, cards and gifts, the feeling of pride and elation that I’d just made two people and the feeling of holding a tiny baby to my chest. How lovely.
Forget the howling and the exhaustion, forget the post labour trauma, now when I look back on the past year it seems filled with delightful first moments and special memories taking the twins to the park and dressing them in fun outfits.
Now they’re walking around and look like people instead of undercooked prawns but I even miss those moments of trying to figure out what they will look like and their silly tongues poking out and that head banging things hungry newborns do.
But the first year isn’t a complete love fest. It’s actually very challenging and nothing can prepare you for becoming a mum (or having twins).
That first year is like a having a horrible hangover that lasts for months as you pull consecutive all-nighters that even Lindsay Lohan would balk at.
In fact it’s full of horrible shocks that you can’t prepare for.
Having to look after the baby/twins alone
You know the day is going to come but suddenly it’s there and you’re overwhelmed and both/all three of you are crying.
Realising that it is only 3pm and that your other half won’t be back for another 4 hours
That you’re just not as important as you used to be.
There’s a new boss in town and you are answerable to them above all others.
You won’t actually get a good night’s sleep until they leave home, and maybe not even then.
Even when they have their first night of ‘sleeping through’, it seems to be some sort of nasty joke where you think that means you can start sleeping normally again. Babies will always keep you on your toes and even when they are sleeping, you’ll realise your body has forgotten how to sleep normally. FML.
That yes, that is poo on the floor/chair/sofa and it has been falling out of their nappy for the past 5 minutes
There’s nothing like that sinking feeling as you realise that shit just happened.
That it wasn’t Marmite you just licked off your hands
Note to all new mums: Ditch the Marmite for a couple of years. With the sleep deprivation, it’s not a good idea.
That they can get ill
When they get ill there is nothing worse as you realise how vulnerable they are and how powerless you are to help them.
That your boobs are going to look deflated balloons from now on
and there you were thinking you could just keep your Baywatch milk boobs forever…
That people are judging you
And will volunteer their opinions on your parenting techniques… No thanks!
Realising that they’re nearly a year old and it went so darn quick
And now you are actually about to have an emotional breakdown… or will try to conceive.