Before, before…. That word again. Before I was a mum there were many things I was NOT going to be. I had rules and ideals to stick to. I wasn’t going to let having twins change me. No way.
Pft. What did I know? Having twins is the biggest life change I’ve ever been through and I kind of fell down on some of the things I said I’d never do. But I’m not afraid to put my hand up and say, I had no idea back then.
Here’s just a few of the misconceptions I had…
I’m gonna be laid back
Urgh. Who wants to be one of those mums that worries about EVERYTHING? Not me, I was gonna be totally chilled. Not fussed. I was gonna be cool.
Except, when you have babies, there’s SO many things to worry about it. Is that noise normal? Is that how babies breathe? Did they just eat one of my postpartum hair balls? What’s that red patch on their head? Can they hear me? They didn’t turn around when I spoke to them? OMG. Must check their hearing!
The doctor’s surgery? My new local hangout.
I’m gonna still wear stylish clothes
As long as they’re comfortable and don’t show baby sick stains, then fine.
I won’t be one of those mums that put their spam their social feeds with their babies
Yeah… this didn’t work out. Sorry not sorry. Check out my Instagram.
I will NOT get my hair cut.
“I will NOT get a mum cut, I WILL keep my long hair.” I was convinced. People even used to ask me this when I was pregnant, “What you going to do with your hair when the twins arrive?”
Err nothing? Keep it. What did they want me to say? Shave it all off?
Thing is, post birth your hair literally flees your head like it’s long overdue a holiday to someplace more interesting – like the plughole or your hairbrush.
With all that postpartum hair loss, I was left with THE most straggly, sad ponytail of all time. Sad face. So I went and got my haircut. I asked for a lob. Oh yes, distinctly mummy.
Luckily I got the UBER talented Sophie Grant from Lockonego to take care of the job. If you’re a Londoner and are looking for THE best place to go to get exactly the hair of your dreams (but better) then head over to the King’s Road.
I will teach my children to be cultural and intelligent from the get go
I now speak more made up words than I speak sense on a daily basis. I ask ridiculous questions with obvious answers, “Who’s that baby?” “What are we going to find in your nappy today?” “What’s that noise?” and have one sided conversations with both bubs. Insanity beckons.
Geniuses? They’ll be lucky if they can learn to speak any language at all!
I will not speak about poop all the time
Urgh this made me roll my eyes constantly when I was a non mum. How can anyone find poo so fascinating? Well, wait until none has come out of your baby for over 10 days and you’ll be thinking about nothing else.
Or wait until loads is up your child’s back and you’re in the shops wheeling around the biggest stench in the world… Or wait until it comes in all kinds of colours…Just you wait non mums. You WILL talk about this.
I’m going to be so creative, no way am I going to let the TV be a babysitter!
Luckily babies don’t require that much imagination when they spend their days passing gas and looking at the ceiling. But as they get older and more demanding, soon you’re desperate to stimulate them and expand their minds… except that sometimes you just have to let CBeebies do that for you while you eat lunch/answer emails/clean the kitchen.
How things have changed!
What did you think you’d do differently?
Lots of love