When I was pregnant with the twins I was SO scared about how I was going to cope. My family and my in laws live far away so I knew there was no chance of having a grandparent to offload the twins to when it all got too much. It’s down to me and the husband to get on with this parenting thing mostly by ourselves, but that’s not to say we didn’t find some interesting ways to help ourselves.
As soon as he went back to work and I was alone with the twins I did feel a bit intimidated, it’s a LOT of work trying to keep two little ones under control at all times, so in the end I found a few ways to give myself a bit of a helping hand, that didn’t cost the earth.
I’ve rounded these up in my vlog here – so see what you think, but I’ve also listed a few ways to cope below the video too.
- Go and descend on your family…I was really scared about uprooting myself and the twins to go and stay at my mums for a few weeks but it was absolutely fine. Yes the car will be jam packed, but if you can make the journey and stay in one place with that help from your fam, you won’t regret it.
- Look into maternity nursing schools to see if they have trainees looking for experience. They’ll probably love to have twin experience on their CV and if you need an extra pair of hands to help with the feeding, entertaining, washing etc, you can’t go wrong. Usually you just pay expenses!
- HomeStart Volunteers. In the UK your Health Visitor can put you in touch with HomeStart who have some amazing volunteers who can work around your schedule to help you – whether you need help getting out of the house, your shopping collected or just someone to wash up while you breastfeed… you’re entitled to some free help.
- Have an agreement with your partner. If it’s all getting too much (and some days it really will) – have an agreement that he will come home early. I don’t use this card very often but knowing it’s there is really reassuring and makes a big difference to my sanity.
- Organise everything you can the night before. Making purees, sterilising, sorting out the changing bag, putting out your clothes, taking a shower, preparing your lunch…everything you can sort out the night before, will make the day after that bit more manageable.
- Have a routine! Getting twins into a routine for day time naps and feeds is so important to be able to have some idea about how the day will go. And it makes you feel more in control and much more able to cope with twins alone.
- Take a deep breath when you need to. They’re both crying? You’ve just dropped a bottle of milk on the floor. They’ve got dirty nappies that have exploded and you don’t know if you can take any more? Take a deep breath. It’s going to be ok.
- Get out of the house. It may seem like a lot of effort (honestly it takes a whole lot of motivation sometimes!) but getting out of the house even to just go for a short walk with the twins will make you feel so much better. It’s claustrophobic indoors and babies need fresh air. And so do mums!
- Make friends with your neighbours. You never know, they may just be lovely and love babies and be happy to help buy you some milk/watch the babies for half an hour. Most people love the chance to help and all they want is a baby cuddle in return. Knowing you have nice neighbours will give you peace of mind should you ever need them to come and help.
If you have any surefire ways to cope with twins when you’re on your own, I’d love to know your mum hacks!
Lots of Love