Hold On A Little Longer: Why Baby Cuddles Are So Important

November 11, 2015
how to cuddle your baby

Baby cuddles. Baby snuggles. They’re just the best. Which is why they make me so sad. I can’t be the only one. Holding my bubs is something I feel has completely passed me by. With twins, it’s like that.

You’re always picking one up and putting one down and alternating and trying to get a thousand things done while they’re occupied in the playgym/jumperoo. The image I have in my mind about holding them both close is one that kind of doesn’t exist in reality. Sure I’ve had a few double cuddles, but the act of holding them, that physicality… it’s gone in just a few weeks. Suddenly they don’t need me any more.

That’s why baby cuddles are so important. They’re important for mums. We need those cuddles to feel safe and loved. We need to hold the warmth of that tiny body to us to feel validated and needed and important. We need that moment of contact to feel connected. We need that baby snuggle… to feel loved.

I know my babies love me, but they’ve adapted to their twin-dom by becoming much more self-assured. The last thing they want before bed is rocking to sleep. They’d much rather be put down in their cot and left alone thank you very much.

Babies need cuddling. Mums need cuddling, because we’re just babies too. I always think that being a mum means you can keep a part of your own mum around forever, and who doesn’t feel better after a good old hug with their ma?

Which leaves me feeling like a bit of a spare part.

I hear again and again how much other mums get frustrated at the constant clinging, the constant rocking and swaying they need to do to get their little one off to sleep. Or how they have had to stay in the same position for hours to enable their baby to sleep at all. I hear it again and again, “They’ll only fall asleep on me.” It’s a compliment really, from your baby. Take it from me!

The thing is, cuddling your baby feels like something you should be awarded, it’s the pay off for the long days and broken nights. It’s your entitlement. Except, I don’t seem to have any of that. They squirm away or if they do relax and enjoy a moment of mum snuggling you can bet anything that their sibling will immediately start demanding their share of the attention. The magic is broken.

I’m sure multiple mums go through this a lot more than singleton mums. And I know it sounds dramatic but I feel like I have to mourn it a bit. There’s a void there. A baby snuggle shaped one.

If I could, I’d snuggle them both for at least an hour a day, smelling their heads, watching their eye lashes flutter, (taking photos and putting them on Instagram), kiss their cheeks and wonder what they’re dreaming of…

Instead I can only dream of doing this. Instead we have a lot of entertaining and a lot less hands on snuggle time. But it’s not because my heart doesn’t ache for it.

Babies need cuddling. Mums need cuddling, because we’re just babies too. I always think that being a mum means you can keep a part of your own mum around forever, and who doesn’t feel better after a good old hug with their ma?

I’m sure there will be many thousands of huggles and snuggles in the future but for now, I’ll take those five seconds here and there, and hope that they realise that whenever they’re ready for a magic mummy cuddle, I’ll always be there with open arms.

 

Have you ever felt like this? Leave me a comment below.

 

Lots of love

ursularose twins blog

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3 Comments

  • Reply Tsvetana November 13, 2015 at 5:05 pm

    What brings me down are all these articles about how important for development is to give babies loads and loads of cuddles. It seems everything depends on it (and on breastfeeding which I wasn’t able to do) – their growth, health event intelligence. But guess what – twins cannot get that many cuddles. Then I wonder is it better to let somebody else to hold them or should I cuddle them one after the other or is it better to lay them together and just hold their hands. I have no idea. ๐Ÿ™

    • Reply ursulabrunetti November 13, 2015 at 5:19 pm

      I know it goes against instinct not to hold them all the time but it’s just not possible ๐Ÿ™ I’m sure they will turn out just fine – as long as they feel loved that is the most important xxx

  • Reply Bilna Sandeep November 12, 2015 at 9:13 am

    Though I keep complaining that he needs me always…I also love every moment of that warmth and cuddle… my boy is already two..and still there are those moments he come to me for a cuddle…I can’t stop holding him..It’s more of an assurance for us moms…I am scared of the times he would grow up and become independent and wouldn’t need my cuddles anymore…

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