Roll Out The Red Carpet – I’m A Fricking Twin Mumma

September 12, 2015

On those rare occasions you’re out and about without your twins, they’re such a part of you that you want everyone to know, wherever you go, that you’re a fricking twin mum okay? and therefore deserve some kind of welcome party just for getting out of the house alone.

I have to say I was kinda disappointed that when I finally made it out, that I just passed among the crowds in the streets just like everyone else. No one knew. No one was acknowledging what felt like the most obvious thing… I’m a new mum – hello – to twins goddamit!

If you’re anything like me you would have appreciated a flash mob being organised in your honour as you stepped out of the house, solo, on your way to do something fun and normal like going for a drink with your girlfriends. Personally, when a new mumma to twins gets out of the house alone, a few things should happen as a matter of course. 

The streets should be lined with people cheering, a red carpet should be rolled out and people should pass you freshly chilled wine as you go. Perhaps you’ll stop for a shoulder rub at a wine and massage pit stop and as you get up to continue your journey you might pause to shake a few hands of admirers that just can’t believe how you do it all. Handmade banners proclaiming you a hero and superwoman should be fluttering in the wind and everyone should be smiling and cheering your name. Basically people should treat you like fellow twin ma and general all round goddess, Angelina Jolie. 

Because parenting baby twins is kind of like a marathon. A silent one that goes on and on at home, day after day, sleep broken nigh after sleep broken night. It’s full on. It’s constant and everything takes so much TIME. Yes, it’s the best job in the world, but there’s not a lot of recognition for your hard work – I mean the HR department is non existent. 

I recently took the tube to go to central London to hang out with a friend and it was the first time I’d been out without the twins. It was the first time I’d taken the tube in at least 4 months. To say I was excited was an understatement.

It turns out the free life is FULL of little luxuries.

Walking around without a pushchair. 

Not having to stop every five minutes to rearrange the raincovers/sunshade/blankets.

Being able to walk up or down stairs.

Being able to open doors and walk through them unaided.

Being able to change your mind about where you’re going and stay out a little longer.

Being able to sit down at a table, any table, without thinking about where to put the pram.

Being able to order and enjoy a glass of something cold and sparkly. Bliss.

Not having to lug around a huge changing bag the size of a small suitcase.

Not being stopped every few hundred metres by people asking about your twins.

But also… ask me about my twins goddamit. 

Being pregnant and having the babies with you instantly garners you a lot of attention and if you’re honest you kind of get used to it. For as long as you’re with your twins you’re one special lady. 

When they’re not with you, you want people to know that you’ve grown, carried, nurtured and birthed two babies. You kinda want them to know that you run on broken sleep and that you have two precious bubs at home that would make anyone broody (as long as they’re sleeping or smiling).

You want people to acknowledge that you’re dressed, wearing make up, maybe even washed and wearing perfume AND are a mum to TWINS. (Mums to triplets, should basically have VIP status and six figure salaries given to them as a matter of course).

While it’s nice to be ‘just you’ again, another unknown out in the world, the new twin ma in you needs constant acknowledgement. The twin ma in you is actually kinda needy (probably because of the sleep deprivation), but she’s kinda proud too (and bordering on socially unstable – again because of the sleep deprivation) and deserves a good old pat on the back.

So in your rare moments of me time, when you’re trying to distance yourself from your incessant twin mum responsibilities and reclaim ‘you’, if you find yourself trying to work your twins into every conversation – with the bus driver, the sales assistant, the person you’re sat next to on the train, just go with it, you’re a multiple mum and deserve public applause wherever you go. 

*Claps loudly!*

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply