I’m Pregnant With Twins And Scared… Reasons (Not) To Be Afraid

November 18, 2015
pregnant with twins and scared

If you’re pregnant with twins and scared, then welcome to the club. Those two little heartbeats that you discovered on your ultrasound are about to change your life forever, but for the better, I promise.

There are a lot of reasons why you might feel scared though, I definitely felt afraid once I’d gone through the generally accepted thought process of finding out I was pregnant with twins.

I’m going to list the reasons why I was terrified about having twins and throughout my blog I’ll be trying to address some of these concerns. Becoming a twin mum is a huge big deal, but it’s all about accepting it a day at a time when you’re pregnant. By the time the twins arrive you will be SO overwhelmed with love that any worries about being a twin mum will soon be replaced with the busy new life you have of looking after them – which luckily leaves a lot less time for worrying.

Most twin mums to be feel scared because, well, there’s double the amount of things to be scared about.

These are the things I was scared of…

  1. Scared to lose one of the twins.
  2. Scared that one or both of the twins won’t be healthy.
  3. Scared to give birth to twins.
  4. Scared won’t be able to have a natural delivery of twins.
  5. Scared about having a C Section with twins.
  6. Scared about my body coping with a twin pregnancy.
  7. Scared about how big I will get.
  8. Scared about stretch marks.
  9. Scared about saggy mum tum after.
  10. Scared about ever feeling sexy again.
  11. Scared about coping alone with twins.
  12. Scared about the cost of twins!
  13. Scared about the impact of twins on my relationship.
  14. Scared about getting up and down the stairs with a double buggy.
  15. Scared about the amount of space we have in the house.
  16. Scared about being stuck in the house days on end with two screaming babies.
  17. Scared about not living near my family and not having any help nearby.
  18. Scared about being a high risk pregnancy.
  19. Scared about giving birth prematurely.
  20. Scared about babies having to be in the NICU.
  21. Scared about having one baby at home and the other one in the hospital.
  22. Scared about recovery from labour while having to care for twins.
  23. Scared about the price of any help I might need.
  24. Scared about losing my sanity.
  25. Scared about losing my identity.
  26. Scared about the babies both being difficult.
  27. Scared about becoming a mum.

Jeeeze, I was one scared scaredy cat. But it’s totally normal. When you’re pregnant with twins it seems there are no end of scary stories out there about difficult births or labours, and to be fair, I did have a scary birth, but once you have had the twins, you’re living it, you’re in the situation, you’re a twin mum and you have to just get on with it.

There are a lot of things you can do in your pregnancy to make sure you feel as prepared as possible, and I’d really try and encourage any pregnant twin mum to be to just try and relax and enjoy your quiet days and free time. Ultimately you’re not in control of this journey to motherhood. But take comfort in the fact that no one has ever been told they’re pregnant with twins and not freaked out about it.

Hindsight is the most incredible thing so here’s what I’d suggest twin mums to be do while pregnant:

Get prepared

Buy everything you need in advance, prep the nursery and make sure you have what you need to welcome the babies a few weeks in advance of your due date. You will feel much more in control knowing you’re as ready as possible in practical terms.

Watch a few YouTube videos

Check out those How to change a nappy videos, watch those How to feed a baby videos, and you will start to feel better informed. There are so many cool videos out there for mums now and plenty of cool mum vloggers that you can actually relate to as well.

Join a load of twin mum groups on Facebook

You will soon realise you’re part of this incredible community of twin mums who are there to help you through every doubt or question you may have. There are twin groups on facebook for every type of twin mums, from local twin mum groups to groups for MoDi twins to fraternal twins to Boy/Girl twins and beyond – there’s even groups for selling twin things and breastfeeding twins. These women have lived through everything already and are an incredible source of support and help. Join while you’re pregnant and you’ll soon have a reassuring insight into how amazing life with twins can be!

Cream that bump

It’s great for bonding with your babies but it’s also great for your skin. You might not avoid every stretch mark or post pregnancy belly wrinkle, but you’ll definitely do some good to your poor skin!

Make some twin mum friends

I literally collected twin mum friends when I was pregnant. By sniffing out twin antenatal classes or simply pouncing on anyone else at pregnancy yoga that mentioned they were a multiple mum to be. Get their number and together you will get through it!

Talk about parenting with your partner

Lay your cards on the table about how you imagine your new life with the twins. If you imagine breast feeding exclusively, make sure your partner is on board to help you with that. Talking about your intentions means you have the same expectations which can only be a good thing. You and your other half are going to be doing a LOT of domestic tasks so make sure they’re on board with the washing up and sterilising and you can avoid some early days arguments.

Accept that it is going to be different

It’s no use mourning and moping about the fact you’re going to have it harder than someone with a singleton pregnancy. You just have to rise to the challenge. There will be moments where you think that all those singleton mums don’t know how easy they have it, but once the twins are here, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Are you pregnant with twins? Were you scared? What advice would you give to a twin mumma to be?

Lots of love

ursularose twins blog

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9 Comments

  • Reply Laura August 8, 2016 at 4:28 am

    Great post. Am so grateful I found your blog Ursula! When I found out we were expecting twins I went into online research overdrive and only came across American twin blogs, which weren’t the most positive?! Then finding a fellow UK/London twin mum made me feel so much better!
    I understood your lost of worries absolutely and had pretty much the exact same ones. I wrote all of mine down and then voiced them with my partner, which was actually a really cathartic experience (he is wonderful and so excited).
    Could you let me know of the facebook groups you have found which you found supportive. After a search I can’t find any? I’m based in London too and would love to meet some fellow twin mum’s to be.
    Maybe you could post about your antenatal experiences. Did you have private? How did you find the right class?

    • Reply ursulabrunetti September 14, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      Hi Laura so sorry I didn’t see your comment until now! Congratulations on your pregnancy! you will be amazing! If you search Facebook for central London twin mums, west London twin mums and also look for the marvellous multiple mums group – these are all really supportive and there’s a group called breastfeeding twins and triplets somewhere on Facebook too. We were at u c l h which was brilliant – highly recommend the care they gave us. Lots of extra appointments and always reassuring. They also had an twins antenatal class where I met some other nice multiple parents to be. It’s full on but it will all be wonderful. I did an Nct twins class too and a Tamba seminar – I was clearly worried about being prepared! Hope this helps! When are you due?

  • Reply Gill Perkins July 12, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Hi Ursula,
    I found out that I was pregnant with twins last week. I have managed to join two local TAMBA Facebook groups and the support I am getting from those are making me feel so much better. In fact one of the twin Mum’s on there pointed me towards your blog and I am loving it so far. I am also a blogger at http://www.jamjargill.com and am going to use my situation as a blogging opportunity too, perhaps look for some specialist product testing gigs. My older sister gave me some good advice on that though that it might be worth blogging 6 months behind my actual time line so I have no pressure to write and publish, I can just draft everything and post when ready, what would you advise on that front. Loving the style of your blog in general, where are you based? Would you be interested in a collaborative blog post of some sort? Very best wishes Gill x

  • Reply Becca April 12, 2016 at 11:50 am

    Less than 24 hours ago I found out I was pregnant with twins. I was already very scared at the thought of having one baby with the risks that are increased with my age (36). Now I am mortified. I can’t shake these feelings of intense fear and don’t know what to do.

    • Reply ursulabrunetti April 24, 2016 at 3:30 pm

      Hi Becca

      Sorry to hear you’re feeling so anxious, but it is a very normal response. It’s a huge life change you’re about to experience but please believe me that you will be so happy once they are here. They will amaze you completely and while it’s not easy, it’s a real joy to have twins. xxx

  • Reply Sameera Kimatrai January 3, 2016 at 12:01 pm

    Thank you for this article . It has helped calm some of my fears (which all feature on your list above!) I found out I am expecting twins last week and whilst my initial reaction was one of excitement, it has been replaced by anxiety and fear over the last few days! I am an identical twin myself and always thought it skipped a generation! Guess not! I will be joining those twin Facebook groups immediately!

    • Reply ursulabrunetti January 3, 2016 at 12:21 pm

      Congratulations! Such exciting times ahead! Don’t worry it will all work out-and you’re part of the twin mum crew now- it’s pretty special! Hope you’re feeling good with your pregnancy and if you have any particular questions or concerns I’m always happy to help and share my experience. If there’s something you’d like me to write about just let me know 🙂

  • Reply Stella Kashmoney November 18, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    I am a twin mum, my twins are 2 now so I can relate. I was scared too but it all went ok in the end. Hang in there.

  • Reply Diana November 18, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Congrats! It’s my dream to have twins one day!! I got married in April but not planning to have kids for a couple of years… but I would be happy if I have twins 🙂

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