The Real Reason Mums Don’t Have Any Time

April 24, 2016

Time takes on a whole new dimension when you’re a mum. Minutes can seem like hours when you’re winding a crying newborn on your shoulder, hours can seem like minutes when you’re trying to wrestle little people into outfits, prepare breakfast, clean milk teeth and wash up, put the washing on and maybe even get yourself dressed… all of that and suddenly it’s 10am!

The thing with time though is that we all only have the same amount in each day. And there’s normally only so much we can achieve. As mums we have to become experts at managing time so that life runs more smoothly and so that the essentials can all get done.

It takes a lot of organisation being a mum, from meal planning to weekend play dates to finding time to take your little ones to activities, nurseries and of course, finding time to ensure the house (and you) are clean enough to keep social services at bay.

I’m sure I’m not the only mum to have found myself craving a bit more time. Or a bit less.

Less time until daddy gets home. More time to finish my breakfast.

Less time spent wiping down high chairs. More time to sleep. (PLEASE!)

Less time breaking up fights. More time to just marvel at the tiny perfection of my children.

Every one says it goes so fast. Everyone tells you that you should enjoy every moment because it’s fleeting. And it’s time for me to confirm the cliche. It’s true.

Time speeds up when you have children, even if rainy days at home can seem like weeks and grizzly afternoons can drag on and on.

But here I am planning a first birthday to my twins wondering how it went so quickly.

Despite it going past in a blur I’m admittedly exhausted from being in mum mode. Once you’re a mum you’re always on duty. You never get a brain break from your children. If the twins are sleeping in past their usual 6.15 wakeup time, I’ll be awake anyway listening out for them and wondering if I should go in and check on them, or just take the extra sleep….

Time has become the most valuable asset in my life now. Time to do something together as a family, time to see my loved ones, time to play with the twins, time to get some work done. There just isn’t enough of it and there are always things that stay on the to do list for weeks on end.

And I’ve found that the last priority is myself. And I know I’m not exaggerating when I say most mums also put themselves last. A survey by P&G showed that mums with children under 5 only have an average of 33 minutes of time to themselves each day to do whatever it is that they fancied.

Imagine what you need to squeeze into that 33 minutes a day… showering, drying hair, prepping meals for the next day, washing up, exercise, catching up on facebook or Instagram, speaking to friends, grocery shopping, sorting out clothes that no longer fit, baby proofing, gardening, walking the dog… those 33 minutes are precious and we have so much we need/want to do with them that something has to give.

Inevitably we end up at the bottom of the list again.

Our secret fantasies, our fave things to do, that bubble bath we never run, that haircut we never book, that shopping trip we never go on…

We can’t help it, we’re too used to trying to keep everything going. We can’t switch off or put our to do lists down, they just keep on growing.

The truth is, we sometimes need reminding that we’re important too. That we deserve some time out from the relentlessness of motherhood to have some time alone or with friends. Those moments of quality time out from it all make such a difference to our wellbeing. And even though we can’t deny how good it makes us feel having some time off, it doesn’t mean we make it any more important in our lives, mum mode takes over again all too quickly.

A lot of people say maternity leave can be a great time for creativity and reflection, and there’s no doubt it changes your view on the world and the life you want to provide for your little ones. For me, maternity leave has brought about many new friendships from vlogging at Channel Mum and blogging here.

I’ve also felt so much support from twin facebook groups who know exactly how life is for those with twin babies. Maternity leave has also given me time to think about launching a business of my own, and while the thought terrifies me, I’m ready to start talking about it, because I truly believe there’s a place for it.

MumDays is my brain baby. An experiential gifting site for mums dedicated to making mums feel special, because mums really are the VIPS in the world and deserve gifts that actually hit the spot. Namely, quality time, to enjoy for themselves. A little TLC in their lives where they give out so much but don’t always get it back.

I’m entering my startup idea into an entrepreneur competition, VOOM2016 for funding from Virgin and would love your vote. If you believe that mums could do with being made to feel more appreciated, more special and more fabulous, then please just take a few seconds to hit the vote button for my idea.

Here’s the link:

Vote

 

I’d love to know how you’d like to spend some time to yourself, if you had it! Please leave me a comment below or follow me on instagram @mum_days

Thanks for reading and I’ll definitely keep you posted on how it’s going!

Lots of love xxxx

 

trauma of being a mum to twins

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