So, there’s a new James Bond movie out. OK, he can somehow survive a thousand sticky situations and always manages to save the day, but that’s nothing compared to being a twin parent.
In fact, being a mum or dad to twins is a lot like being James Bond.
Our mission? Surviving day to day and preventing the twinpocalypse from taking over the household.
1. You can’t say you’re a parent without mentioning the twins. “The name’s Dad/Mum. Twin Dad/Mum.”
2. Your tipple of choice is renowned. Formula milk. Shaken, not stirred.
3. While James Bond may contend with some pretty spectacular car chases, if he was to try chasing toddler twins around for the same amount of time, we all know who would come out on top.
4. Bond may have a car that transforms into a plane, twin parents have phones that double up as childminders/sleep sound machines/feeding schedulers/sanity savers.
5. A twin parent is invincible. No matter how evil the stench, how cunning the toddler, how desperate the whining, we’ll still be standing at the end of the day.
6. Somehow Bond always gets the girl, saves the world, reports for duty and looks suave, no matter how improbable. Same goes for twin parents, we always get it all done, no matter how much the odds are stacked against us. Except for the suave part. That word? Dead to us.
7. He never runs out of ammo, and we never run out of nappies.
8. Whatever jetlag Bond feels after flying to several time zones in the course of a week, he never shows it, much like a twin parent who has learnt to adjust to twin time, a special time zone of its own.
9. James Bond is able to turn heads whenever he enters a room. Twin parents turn heads EVERYWHERE they go, but for all the wrong reasons.
10. Bond never gets flustered, he always keeps his cool, something that twin mums and dads have down to a fine art. Both babies screaming? Keep calm and never show them the fear.
11. All the other agents are in awe of Bond, all the other parents are in awe of twin mums and dads. “Just how do they do it?”
12. He’s never without a weapon. Twin mums and dads? Never without a wet wipe. Take that Dr.Poo.